It's not rational. She's not there.

“Every single day I long to talk to him, touch him, hug him. I don't know how I have made it through a whole year without him. The pain has sometimes been unbearable...." 

“Here I am at midnight, unable to sleep, finding it impossible to believe that I have lost my second child." - ellenb

“Nothing felt normal. I wasn’t sure where to park my car at our house. He had his car with him, but I still left his space open. Setting the table for dinner was strange; walking down the hall past his room felt painful— we were completely lost and at the same time happy for him and proud of his accomplishments. We didn’t know if we should laugh or cry. We’ve done a lot of both.” - Brown, Brené. Rising Strong